Liam ‘the Liar’ Fox

Liam and wife
Liam and his wife Jesme

We know we’re on safe ground calling former Tory leadership candidate and now Snooty Cameron’s Shadow Defence Secretary Liam Fox – MP for Woodspring – a liar because the Courts have already decided he is one. In 2004 he was successfully sued for libel by Labour MP Martin Salter and ordered to pay £60,000 damages.

But we can now exclusively reveal that Liam has also been spectacularly “economical with the truth” in carefully constructing – in romantic soft focus – an “Indiana Jones meets Cassanova” public image for himself.

Peter Hennessy wrote in the Daily Telegraph in 2005 that “Dr Fox has been dogged by persistent rumours about his sexuality – as is often the case with Tory ‘bachelors’ in their 40s. “But,” went on Hennessy, “He has now put this to rest by announcing his engagement to Jesme Baird.”

It’s amazing how Tory leadership contests – William Hague anyone? – bring out the need in candidates to propose to their “long-term” girlfriends to squash those gay rumours and keep up the family man image for the blue rinse brigade.

Now we don’t give a flying fuck about Dr. Fox’s sexuality – that’s his business. But the politically convenient proposal to Jesme fits in a pattern of using women – from Natalie Imbruglia to Mother Teresa – to further his political career.

Famously – because it was peddled to many newspapers – Liam Fox was “once linked to the singer Natalie Imbruglia”, was “romantically linked to Natalie Imbruglia”, was “seen out with Natalie Imbruglia”, “lists among his friends Natalie Imbruglia” and on and on. How did this unlikely pairing of the former Neighbours rock chick and Liam come about?

Well, according to Liam, he was sent a pre-release copy of Natalie’s first album and sent back a few helpful thoughts on the tracks he’d heard – as you do! Natalie was so delighted to be given such unsolicited singing tuition from someone she’d never heard of that she immediately gave him credits on the album.

From these notes – carefully brought to press attention – Dr. Fox was able to construct his subsequent image as romantically linked to Imbruglia and “sexiest MP” and “ladies man”. The truth is that the whole story was contrived by a go-between with Imbruglia’s management and it’s doubtful if Dr. Fox met Imbruglia more than once. According to his latest spin “he still remains in touch with her” which must be very gratifying to her husband!

But Natalie was a mere wayside halt for Liam the Lothario! He is also friends with “Cindy from Eastenders” and – wait for it – Mother Tersesa!! Yes folks, “Liam lists among his friends Cindy from Eastenders and Mother Teresa”. There is no suggestion by Liam – even the Liar has limits – that he was “romantically linked” to Mother Teresa or that she was his “former love interest”. So how did yet another unlikely friendship develop? Did she send him a prayer and ask for his advice on it?

No. It materialises that Liam wrote her a letter – unsolicited again – and… wait for it… “she replied”!!! In Liam the Liar’s book that’s friendship!!! He never even met this imaginary friend. Never mind. Liam now has Natalie and Cindy on one arm and for added gravitas Mother (call me Teri) Teresa on the other.

But there’s more. We are told Liam goes to Stringfellows and – wait for it – “is friends with tennis players”!!! Who’s that then? A couple of old blokes knocking it about in Yatton? Teasingly we cannot be told who these “tennis players” are – but – nudge, wink – we are led to think it might well be Maria Sharapinova or Andre Aggassi who Liam hangs out with. Certainly not little Jimmy from Easton-in-Gordano anyway. In fact the only people Liam doesn’t boast about meeting are his constituents!

But there’s more to Liam than posing in Stringfellows with supermodels. According to his admirers at The Sun – who can spot a fellow right wing nut job when they see one – “Liam enjoys daredevil pursuits”. Even more he enjoys telling us about them… Often. His PR tells us “Liam went sky-diving with Tesco check-out women” and has “been wing-walking on planes”. Blimey! Indiana Jones or Zorro or wot? Surprised he didn’t pick up the Holy Grail while he was at it!

You see, nothing undramatic ever happens to Liam. Even his medical interests are dramatic. Asked a simple question on mental illness Liam replied that he “had a friend who killed his wife during the last world cup”. Why did he feel the need to add the world cup detail? Does it add anything we need to know rather than making Dr. Fox seem even more exciting ‘cos his mates top their wives during penalty shoot-outs?

During his time as a junior hospital doctor in Glasgow Liam claims to have worked a 94 hour shift during which he performed nine caesareans with no sleep at all. Often this goes up or down a few hours but remarkable, all the same, to have performed nine non-elective caesareans in casualty in so few hours. But it was even more dramatic. He was working there at the time of the notorious Glasgow ice-cream wars and dealt with the horrific casualties. Whether this was at the same time as the caesareans is not clear – but, by golly, you wouldn’t put it past the fellow! Dr.Kildare meets Quincy!

And Dr. Fox has a remarkable record of saving people in dramatic circumstances. In the last year alone he has stumbled across four collapsed and dying strangers who he has had time to revive before getting his PR to phone the media to announce the latest miracle to an astonished world.

Good Samaritan, Indiana Jones, Quincy, Dr. Kildare, Simon Cowell, Peter Stringfellow, Zorro – Liam Fox is all of these. Of course we could also add hypocrite.

Dr. Fox’s wife-to-be works for the Roy Castle Lung Foundation and Dr.Fox has railed against the health effects of smoking. But did that stop the good doctor meeting his tennis chums at Wimbledon one year in a hospitality box sponsored by… Imperial Tobacco?

More worryingly he is also a right-wing ideologue in hoc to George Bush and his bunch of neo-cons and aims to re-create the American religious right in Britain.

Research in Dr. Fox’s private office is financed by Atlantic Bridge a UK-US think tank funded by Pfizer (the American pharmaceutical giant named as one of the ten worst companies in the world, accused of fraudulent and deceptive practices – how very appropriate!).

Atlantic Bridge – with the good doctor Fox at the helm – aims to recreate the golden age of the Thatcher-Reagan conservative axis across the pond.

During the last election Fox had seconded to him a leading Republican election strategist from George Bush’s team. Fox has been in Washington with Karl Rove, George Bush’s right hand man through whom he managed to get his George Bush photo opportunity for his leadership bid.

This is enough, presumably, to make George Bush a “close friend” to Liam’s way of thinking – but “not dating” officially just yet!

Incidently, Fox’s Thatcher admiration – she’s with him on Atlantic Bridge – knows no bounds. At her 80th birthday party the ever-pushy Dr. Fox tried to take over the lead singing of Happy Birthday to Thatcher from David Davis. Tory Blair had to step in to separate the squabbling brown nosers and lead the singing himself!

The cunning Fox is also leader of the Cornerstone Group of Tory MPs that calls for abortion time limits of 12 weeks and is against equal gay rights. After some hesitancy – caused by Fox’s pivotal role in the mendacious sacking of their euro-sceptic chum Howard Flight before the last election – the Cornerstone group rallied to Fox’s cause.

Who else might join them? Well Liam the Liar has this to say about his pal Lord Archer the perjuror, “the Tories would consider sympathetically any application by Lord Archer to rejoin the party”. It was Fox who warmly welcomed Archer at Thatcher’s birthday shindig – also finding to time to welcome the 90 year old Jack Profumo! What a nest of charlatans!

Like Archer, Fox has trouble distinguishing fact from fiction in his biography. Speaking to the Daily Telegraph he said, “Both my grandparents were miners”. Did they allow women down the pits then or do they just not count? He continued that “20 years ago it would have been impossible for someone from my background to be Chairman of the Tory Party”. The interviewer pointed out that Lord Tebbitt was Chairman 20 years ago. “Well 30 years ago no one from my background could become a Tory Prime Minister”. But Ted Heath’s dad was a builder pointed out the interviewer again. “Well 40 years ago…” countered Fox.
For Liam the Liar the truth is sure as hell inconvenient!

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28 Comments

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28 responses to “Liam ‘the Liar’ Fox

  1. Liam Fox is somewhat shy about the fact that his brother Colin is leader of the Scottish Socialist Party.

    Looking at his blog, Colin does not have much to say about it either
    http://www2.blogger.com/profile/15563106875285583263

    The more you look at the political backgrounds, names and families involved at the highest levels of UK poilitics, the more we can see that there is a political class in this country. No matter who you vote for, that class gets in.

  2. Farty Foulke

    Funny how he married… Then took his companion Warritty to more places than his wife.

  3. Anyone want to have a guess as to who the next defense secretary will be when he stands down next week ” having not done anything wrong but does not want to distract the armed forces from the fantastic job that they are doing – like getting fired and blown up because of equipment shortages”

  4. Anonymous

    Adam Werrity will probably be next Defence Secretary, after all he has been to all the meetings!

    • Anonymous

      Brilliant!

      And to strengthen what “don” said, Pixie Fixie (did I spell them right??) will be coming out before the end of October!

  5. Laughing Out Loud

    LOL… The moment I heard the words “former flatmate” and saw the apparent age difference between Fox and his “long-term friend and travel companion” I turned to my end wife and said… ‘Oh my, someone is obviously not not gay.’

  6. don

    Gay+Gay + Gay, little doubt in my mind as to why his” best man’ went with him so often,Gay, Gay,Gay, so lets get the truth out about Dr Liam, marriage is a sham to cover the Gays, it is common knowledge that these things happen, and are often engineered as such to perhaps make them more acceptable to a society which frowned upon Gays, and their sexuality, so having a wife was the best cover for them at one time, now the idea of being Gay is more acceptable, perhaps Dr Fox will ‘come -out’

  7. Funny post. I would correct the last bit about ” both my grandparents were miners’ : I think he was referring to both his grandfathers, you twit.

  8. Ian Morton

    Yes, but in general terms, one tends to have 4 grandparents, hence the suggestion that women just may not count, you twitess 🙂

  9. Very funny indeed. He should be in front of the Hague for war crimes ( double en tendre not intended, ooh er missus) in Libya. He is my former MP to say our correspondence was anything less than sanctimonious would be to do it a dis service. Corporate Fascist if ever I saw one!

  10. Gyalist

    So, Jesme Baird is in fact Liam Fox’s beard!!

  11. Dogman

    A very nice piece Mr. Bone. It is of critical importance that Mr. Fox, with his reputation & credibility in tatters, be kept in charge at the MOD. This would undoubtedly be doing the wrong thing in the personal interest, and is to be applauded.

  12. Anonymous

    Fox now estimated to be worth over £2m? Wonder if he’s consummated the marriage? A nullified marriage presumably means he could shaft Jesme yet?

    Plentiov Lube, Glasgow.

  13. Greg

    Anyone else spot the Guardians euphemism on possible gayness ?

    Talking about Adam Werritts jaunts aboroad …”.likely to raise further questions about the nature of his role in the defence secretary’s inner circle…”

  14. • Now we find out that Adam Werrity (or ‘another’) slept with Liam Fox during the night of a burgulary, whilst his wife was away “on holiday”! What was Werritty (or ‘another’) doing there? Giving Fox a bubble bath and a talcum powder ‘rub-down’? It all sounds sordid to me!

    Come on, I want to know whether or not, Liam Fox has been checked for any underlying mental illness? He wants the world to believe he is not gay. The man must take the public for fools, because he is surely sick in the head to believe the public will be taken in by his lies.

    I also want to know, has he been self-administering psychotropic or hypnotic drugs to himself? Bermondsey’s quite a rough area, does Mr Fox take street drugs, or take cocaine up his nostils? Does he and his friends have a drug dealer for their supplies? I want to know.

    The public are worried and concerned that this denier is in charge of our soldiers and their safety. The public are afraid that he could plunge us into a nuclear war, whilst he is in a drug-induced murky trance. What would happen to us if his finger slipped over the nuclear button?Then, there is the matter of why Sir Gus O Dullard was picked to deal with the inquiry into Dr Fox and his boyfriend Adam Werrity.

    Why is the highly respected Sir Philip Mawer not taking this one? Doesn’t he deal with issues around government ministers’ probity and standards? The public have no faith in Sir Gus O Dullard. He is seen as being in bed with David Cameron, and Liam Fox. Sir Gus O Dullard, and MOD permanent secretary Ursula Brennam sat back and allowed Werritty to walk the parade all over the corridors of the MOD. They should have intervened.

    How can the public respect the head of the civil service, when he can not even arrange to answer a simple enquiry from a member of the public. He is seen as a waste of time. Let Sir Philip look at the case.Meanwhile, get rid of Liam Fox, and arrest Werritty and Fox’s wife.

  15. Tifftaff

    Laughing out loud – in days gone by a ‘lady’ might have a travelling companion. In these enlightened times I think it is ‘wonderful’ that our Defence secretary should have a travelling companion – so no definitely not gay – unless of course you mean a cheery fellow

  16. William Hague is NOT gay,his boyfriend however,is…. ! Fox deffo. a friend of Dorothy,all that Natalie Umbrella tosh,and his general demeanor,give it away…. if that’s the way yer roll….come out,f.f.s.

  17. Greg

    Hopefully it’ll all come out in the wash, now he’s ….
    ”launched a probe into himself”…..

  18. Faoxy-Loxy

    Tis is a comment I made to a Student column but it looks like it is very applicable here. So here goes..
    OK, my fellow Brit-brats, little kids, you seem to be very confused. Now listen to me and learn something, that might help you in your future careers/business and sexual relationships/or even in protest marches.
    Now do you remember Sir Mark Thatcher? May be not, ask your dad. Sir Mark was in jail in South Africa in early last decade but why? Yes he was jailed for trying to overthrow Sierra-Leone government..lol. Was he really? Of course not, how could a man like he overthrow a foregn government! Well the story is simple, he was a gentleman, a private-agent travelling on first class always, brokering weapons deals on behalf of the British weapons industry. So in effect, while the weapons industry was selling missiles to legitimate governments through your whiter-than-white, purer-than-pure and God’s agent British government, people like Sir Mark do sell anti-missiles to terrorists (as you may call them ´rebels´, because they kill poor people in the third world) through the back-door. (Can you see, that is how God’s agents maintain “peace” in the world! If a war ended, weapons industry struggles and you lose jobs. That’s the main reason why your British government and Channel 4 are very very unhappy at poor Sri Lanka’s annihilation of the most ruthless terrorist group called Tamil Tigers. Human Rights is a nice cover!Channel 4’s concocted videos are hilarious too.)
    Anyway, what you boys and girls don’t seem to know is, that there are so many such white-collar agents in the UK who represent the weapons industry. Werrity is one of them. Read your very reliable newspapers, he is a defence consultant. Their trips are sponsored by the companies.
    While some like Sir Mark works independently as Freelance brokers, others like Werrity directly use their friends in this game. Sri Lanka was a good place to sell weapons when the terrorists were rioting. Unfortunately the demand for weapons is now very low. Fox and Werrity were trying hard to keep Sri Lanka’s demand intact, but the country doesn’t have any terrorists now to do deals with. Your weapons industry was angry at Werrity and shot him in the foot this time. As the old adage goes, if you live by the sword and you will die by it as well.
    Close relationship between them is nothing but another cover up.

  19. Anonymous

    As far as I am concerned, I would prefer Dr. Liam Fox NOT TO COME OUT but simply stay in his cupboard out of harms (UK Defence) way.

    One good question remains about Sir Mark Thatcher… Why was he allowed to use his mothers influence (and possibly money?) to further himself a career in ARMS when there should NOT have been any private financial gain from any position his mother had (as Prime Minister)? He should be stripped of his knighthood for the damage caused to UK integrity.

    [Dr. Liam Fox in similar vein should be prosecuted if he has been found to endanger UK by his deeds. I remind everyone that treason is a valid charge].

  20. Anonymous

    Mark Thatcher once got lost in the Sahara Desert! Sadly some-body found him again.

  21. Jenna Robson

    Oh Lord. Poor Liam. He’s my MP, and I must say that whenever I’ve met him, he’s been nothing but kind and helpful, regardless of the fact that I am young, female, and a member of the Youth Parliament.

    I think that all this media attention has been dragged out for far too long – I agree that he wasn’t very clever to make such mistakes in breaching the ministerial code, but his private life is his own business, and I don’t think he should be victimised for travelling with a friend.

  22. Pingback: The Fox and Hounds.

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