Liam and his wife Jesme
We know we’re on safe ground calling former Tory leadership candidate and now Snooty Cameron’s Shadow Defence Secretary Liam Fox – MP for Woodspring – a liar because the Courts have already decided he is one. In 2004 he was successfully sued for libel by Labour MP Martin Salter and ordered to pay £60,000 damages.
But we can now exclusively reveal that Liam has also been spectacularly “economical with the truth” in carefully constructing – in romantic soft focus – an “Indiana Jones meets Cassanova” public image for himself.
Peter Hennessy wrote in the Daily Telegraph in 2005 that “Dr Fox has been dogged by persistent rumours about his sexuality – as is often the case with Tory ‘bachelors’ in their 40s. “But,” went on Hennessy, “He has now put this to rest by announcing his engagement to Jesme Baird.”
It’s amazing how Tory leadership contests – William Hague anyone? – bring out the need in candidates to propose to their “long-term” girlfriends to squash those gay rumours and keep up the family man image for the blue rinse brigade.
Now we don’t give a flying fuck about Dr. Fox’s sexuality – that’s his business. But the politically convenient proposal to Jesme fits in a pattern of using women – from Natalie Imbruglia to Mother Teresa – to further his political career.
Famously – because it was peddled to many newspapers – Liam Fox was “once linked to the singer Natalie Imbruglia”, was “romantically linked to Natalie Imbruglia”, was “seen out with Natalie Imbruglia”, “lists among his friends Natalie Imbruglia” and on and on. How did this unlikely pairing of the former Neighbours rock chick and Liam come about?
Well, according to Liam, he was sent a pre-release copy of Natalie’s first album and sent back a few helpful thoughts on the tracks he’d heard – as you do! Natalie was so delighted to be given such unsolicited singing tuition from someone she’d never heard of that she immediately gave him credits on the album.
From these notes – carefully brought to press attention – Dr. Fox was able to construct his subsequent image as romantically linked to Imbruglia and “sexiest MP” and “ladies man”. The truth is that the whole story was contrived by a go-between with Imbruglia’s management and it’s doubtful if Dr. Fox met Imbruglia more than once. According to his latest spin “he still remains in touch with her” which must be very gratifying to her husband!
But Natalie was a mere wayside halt for Liam the Lothario! He is also friends with “Cindy from Eastenders” and – wait for it – Mother Tersesa!! Yes folks, “Liam lists among his friends Cindy from Eastenders and Mother Teresa”. There is no suggestion by Liam – even the Liar has limits – that he was “romantically linked” to Mother Teresa or that she was his “former love interest”. So how did yet another unlikely friendship develop? Did she send him a prayer and ask for his advice on it?
No. It materialises that Liam wrote her a letter – unsolicited again – and… wait for it… “she replied”!!! In Liam the Liar’s book that’s friendship!!! He never even met this imaginary friend. Never mind. Liam now has Natalie and Cindy on one arm and for added gravitas Mother (call me Teri) Teresa on the other.
But there’s more. We are told Liam goes to Stringfellows and – wait for it – “is friends with tennis players”!!! Who’s that then? A couple of old blokes knocking it about in Yatton? Teasingly we cannot be told who these “tennis players” are – but – nudge, wink – we are led to think it might well be Maria Sharapinova or Andre Aggassi who Liam hangs out with. Certainly not little Jimmy from Easton-in-Gordano anyway. In fact the only people Liam doesn’t boast about meeting are his constituents!
But there’s more to Liam than posing in Stringfellows with supermodels. According to his admirers at The Sun – who can spot a fellow right wing nut job when they see one – “Liam enjoys daredevil pursuits”. Even more he enjoys telling us about them… Often. His PR tells us “Liam went sky-diving with Tesco check-out women” and has “been wing-walking on planes”. Blimey! Indiana Jones or Zorro or wot? Surprised he didn’t pick up the Holy Grail while he was at it!
You see, nothing undramatic ever happens to Liam. Even his medical interests are dramatic. Asked a simple question on mental illness Liam replied that he “had a friend who killed his wife during the last world cup”. Why did he feel the need to add the world cup detail? Does it add anything we need to know rather than making Dr. Fox seem even more exciting ‘cos his mates top their wives during penalty shoot-outs?
During his time as a junior hospital doctor in Glasgow Liam claims to have worked a 94 hour shift during which he performed nine caesareans with no sleep at all. Often this goes up or down a few hours but remarkable, all the same, to have performed nine non-elective caesareans in casualty in so few hours. But it was even more dramatic. He was working there at the time of the notorious Glasgow ice-cream wars and dealt with the horrific casualties. Whether this was at the same time as the caesareans is not clear – but, by golly, you wouldn’t put it past the fellow! Dr.Kildare meets Quincy!
And Dr. Fox has a remarkable record of saving people in dramatic circumstances. In the last year alone he has stumbled across four collapsed and dying strangers who he has had time to revive before getting his PR to phone the media to announce the latest miracle to an astonished world.
Good Samaritan, Indiana Jones, Quincy, Dr. Kildare, Simon Cowell, Peter Stringfellow, Zorro – Liam Fox is all of these. Of course we could also add hypocrite.
Dr. Fox’s wife-to-be works for the Roy Castle Lung Foundation and Dr.Fox has railed against the health effects of smoking. But did that stop the good doctor meeting his tennis chums at Wimbledon one year in a hospitality box sponsored by… Imperial Tobacco?
More worryingly he is also a right-wing ideologue in hoc to George Bush and his bunch of neo-cons and aims to re-create the American religious right in Britain.
Research in Dr. Fox’s private office is financed by Atlantic Bridge a UK-US think tank funded by Pfizer (the American pharmaceutical giant named as one of the ten worst companies in the world, accused of fraudulent and deceptive practices – how very appropriate!).
Atlantic Bridge – with the good doctor Fox at the helm – aims to recreate the golden age of the Thatcher-Reagan conservative axis across the pond.
During the last election Fox had seconded to him a leading Republican election strategist from George Bush’s team. Fox has been in Washington with Karl Rove, George Bush’s right hand man through whom he managed to get his George Bush photo opportunity for his leadership bid.
This is enough, presumably, to make George Bush a “close friend” to Liam’s way of thinking – but “not dating” officially just yet!
Incidently, Fox’s Thatcher admiration – she’s with him on Atlantic Bridge – knows no bounds. At her 80th birthday party the ever-pushy Dr. Fox tried to take over the lead singing of Happy Birthday to Thatcher from David Davis. Tory Blair had to step in to separate the squabbling brown nosers and lead the singing himself!
The cunning Fox is also leader of the Cornerstone Group of Tory MPs that calls for abortion time limits of 12 weeks and is against equal gay rights. After some hesitancy – caused by Fox’s pivotal role in the mendacious sacking of their euro-sceptic chum Howard Flight before the last election – the Cornerstone group rallied to Fox’s cause.
Who else might join them? Well Liam the Liar has this to say about his pal Lord Archer the perjuror, “the Tories would consider sympathetically any application by Lord Archer to rejoin the party”. It was Fox who warmly welcomed Archer at Thatcher’s birthday shindig – also finding to time to welcome the 90 year old Jack Profumo! What a nest of charlatans!
Like Archer, Fox has trouble distinguishing fact from fiction in his biography. Speaking to the Daily Telegraph he said, “Both my grandparents were miners”. Did they allow women down the pits then or do they just not count? He continued that “20 years ago it would have been impossible for someone from my background to be Chairman of the Tory Party”. The interviewer pointed out that Lord Tebbitt was Chairman 20 years ago. “Well 30 years ago no one from my background could become a Tory Prime Minister”. But Ted Heath’s dad was a builder pointed out the interviewer again. “Well 40 years ago…” countered Fox.
For Liam the Liar the truth is sure as hell inconvenient!