THE STRANGE CASE OF TOBY YOUNG AND THE VANISHING PIRATE

The story so far: Toby Young writes that he’s double booked on May 14th between the rally Against Debt and taking his kids ‘to the opening of a pirate exhibition’. However exhaustive research by M’ learned friend HARRY WHITE  reveals that not only is there no pirate exhibition in London on that day but that the nearest one timewise is scheduled to open on May 20th…….so even a preview that far ahead is unlikely. Can anyone help me out here? Can you find the missing pirate exhibition? This is a matter of some import to those who may be trusting the education of their children to Mr. Young’s  Free school. He may be a serial offender – what if he advertises events at the school which don’t exist?   ‘Next week children Mr.Young has arranged a Peppa Pig day’………..then Peppa fails to show. The looks on their faces. Mr. Young surely you couldn’t be such a bounder?

*****After further exhaustive research by HW and AV it appears that Toby and sprogs have wangled press  preview invites to the Captain Kidd exhibition at the  excellent Museum of Docklands. It does indeed look a good exhibition and i don’t resent having to wait for a week after Toby to see it. What I do resent is this snouts in the trough freebie for upper class ponces like Toby while ordinary families will have to pay full whack…..then he ponces off to a ‘bash the poor’ march!

******Another sensational twist – an enquirer has learned that the Press Preview is on the 18th not the 14th!! Top work anon. C’mon Toby come clean.

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15 Comments

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15 responses to “THE STRANGE CASE OF TOBY YOUNG AND THE VANISHING PIRATE

  1. Harry White

    Toby Young’s claim that he’s going to the press preview doesn’t really cut the mustard. Surely a press preview is for, er, the press and not for members of the press to bring their children to: assuming, of course, that there is a press preview on 14 May. There is an event on 28 May aimed at children: http://www.towerhamletsarts.org.uk/index.lasso?s=10&lang=e&event=10921&guide=events, which Mr Young may find more to his offspring’s taste. Of course, they won’t be serving free wine at it so he may give it a miss.

  2. Mandy

    Did you see the article about this tory scumbag in the Guardian, regarding his pro cuts demo, where he said “”Any visits to Fortnum & Mason’s by protesters will only be to marvel at their selection of quality goods and perhaps make the occasional purchase,” it says. “Bonfires will be strictly forbidden: it’s out of season anyway. Trips to see Vodafone and other high street chains will result in congratulations to the company for providing jobs and growth in the UK.”
    What a complete wanker. Hopefully we will see a great number of protesters responding to this on the day…

  3. b

    Toby Young is certainly a liar – he says Labour had an open-door immigration policy. I can’t believe he’s unaware that this is a completely false statement.

    Curiously he also thinks trade union activists have their salaries paid for by the state. Either he means the officials, in which case they don’t. Or he means the members, in which case many are employed in the public sector, yes, but that doesn’t seem to be what he’s trying to say.

    Yeah sure Toby, the lower orders are all parasites, and the rich are rich because they work hard. Stupid cunt!

    But of course it’s his opponents who are guilty of an “outpouring of vitriol”. Him and his friends are just nice and twee and genteel. They’re not really guilty of vicious boot-boy class hatred against the rest of us. They love us! They want to help us! They think we’re as human as they are! Yes?

    Meanwhile, back on this planet, since when were rich cunts speaking in public anything other than a bunch of phonies and hypocrites, who speak with forked tongues whenever they open their mouths? You could ask the psychological question how much of their shit do they actually believe, but the truth is probably hardly anything. They’re liars and they know it. Then same goes for every opinion-former and person in a position of hierarchical authority.

    They’re also cunts and they know it. They hate the working class majority with a vengeance, and they hate the middle-class types whose careers depend on some kind of doling out of some kind of social wage, welfare, or public service. Why? Because it’s working class people who receive these services. Of course, they don’t really like to recognise that any of us have the ‘right’ to say what we think in public (we’re just scroungers, in it for the money, right?), so a lot of what they polemicise against is written by those middle-class types.

    At least it’s amusing that the guy has no answer to the criticism that it’s as if he “I dont think enough people think I’m a c**t yet”. Except to impy that ugh, a vulgar person has shown some emotion.

    If only the amount of class hatred there is in the rich could be reflected by a similar amount in the working class majority, then we’d be getting somewhere!

  4. AndyV

    London Docklands Museum has a pirate exhibition opening on 20th May timed to mark 300 years since the execution of Captain Kidd. It actually looks quite good. however I would have thought the Vorticists exhibition at the Tate Modern with contributions from Nazi bastards such as Wyndham Lewis and Ezra Pound would have been more to Toby Youngs taste.

  5. scherben

    The last sentence is spot on; he’s quite happy for this free handout

    Piracy exhibitions are apt for parasites like him

  6. Anonymous

    Ian – the press preview’s on 18 May – I asked them.

  7. b

    So what’s the latest? The press preview is on 18 May. Is he really going to the exhibition with his children on 14 May or not?

  8. b

    @scherben – “Piracy exhibitions are apt for parasites like him”.
    Ssh – remember the Class War flag! (joke)

  9. b

    Oh dear, Toby’s annoyed! From his latest effort.

    According to Toby, one of his rival luvvies

    ’embodies everything that the public finds most irritating about the new generation of protesters, i.e. that they’re posing as working-class street-fighters “from the slums of London”, when, in fact, they’re upper-middle-class Oxford graduates from the home counties.’

    Where did this creep get the phrase “from the slums of London” from? It comes from an unpaid interview a young man gave the BBC. I’ll tell you what – the young man didn’t seem upper middle class to me!

  10. Dora Kaplan

    Toby’s a reed in the wind. If he thinks his target demographic wants to hear he’s on the ‘march against debt’ then off he goes. If he felt he could get more play from occupying TopShop with Polly Toynbee he would do it – though that end of the media market is already saturated. He just follows the money, like every other journalist, his deeply held convictions on sale to the highest bidder.
    Maybe the cunt can swap places with George Monbiot – rejecting nuclear power and becoming a public vegan while Sir George gets his tongue right up the arse of Rupert Murdoch and BNFL?

  11. “Toby’s a reed in the wind. If he thinks his target demographic wants to hear he’s on the ‘march against debt’ then off he goes.”

    A sort of rich man’s Sunny Hundal then?

  12. Toby Young's Rented Boy

    Toby is a self-confessed twat. Or to paraphrase his wife, he is ” borderline-autistic”.
    Same with Boris Johnson. Twat.
    As with Brown. Twat.
    And both Milibros. …Twat. And Twat.

    Monbiot is just weak. He’s succumbed to pressure from his peers (his class) and really really believes (now) that if we don’t have nukepower we’ll all end up living in caves. And, sensing the way the west is collapsing, they’ve all suddenly got the paranoid shakes about an approaching dark age.

    Twats.

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