Stan was 14 in the first wave of punk. He was in the Autonomes Swansea’s finest proper punk couldn’t play anything band. His parents took him on holiday to Jersey when he was 13. You all know that last holiday with your parents. They took him to see Showaddywaddy. Stan cracked…after Under the Moon of Love. ‘FUCKING SHIT he cried from the stalls…you’re fucking shit’
There’s a moment when you have act or you yourself know you’re a fraud. My mate KUSTARD did in Swansea, he told me there was going to be a ‘happening on the steepest hill in town. I saw bubbles and billowing loons……..KUSTARD had a huge tractor tyre he proposed to push down the hill. Sensing my worry that people might be killed he helpfully offered ‘it might kill a policeman’ I wasn’t sure of his grasp on probability theory but to was too late. KUSTARD pushed the tyre off. It wobbled 20 yards and fell lamely into a wall.
You worry too much IAN he said. ‘Sometime you just got to do it’
Like Stan in Jersey.
I next saw Kustard in the dock at Swansea magistrates court where he wore a cowboy hat, a fine black cloak and read the Beano throughout the proceedings which he took no part in. The magistrate were apoplectic at his failure to stand. he winked at me as he was sent down for contempt .
Next time he appeared he’d changed his name to CONTEMPT OF COURT.
ALL HAIL KUSTARD