TO ACT ON YOUR OWN-AYE THERE’S THE RUB

Stan was 14 in the first wave of punk. He was in the Autonomes Swansea’s finest proper punk couldn’t play anything band.  His parents took him on holiday to Jersey when he was 13. You all know that last holiday with your parents. They took him to see Showaddywaddy. Stan cracked…after Under the Moon of Love. ‘FUCKING SHIT   he cried from the stalls…you’re fucking shit’

There’s a moment when you have act or you yourself know you’re a fraud. My mate KUSTARD did in Swansea, he told me there was going to be a ‘happening on the steepest hill in town. I saw bubbles and billowing loons……..KUSTARD had a huge tractor tyre he proposed to push down the hill. Sensing my worry that people might be killed he helpfully offered ‘it might kill a policeman’ I wasn’t sure of his grasp on probability theory but to was too late. KUSTARD pushed the tyre off. It wobbled 20 yards and fell lamely into a wall.

You worry too much IAN he said. ‘Sometime you just got to do it’

Like Stan in Jersey.

I next saw Kustard in the dock at Swansea magistrates court where he wore a cowboy hat, a fine black cloak and read the Beano throughout the proceedings which he took no part in. The magistrate were apoplectic at his failure to stand. he winked at me as he was sent down for contempt .

 

Next time he  appeared he’d changed his name to CONTEMPT OF COURT.

 

ALL HAIL

 

 

 

ALL HAIL KUSTARD

 

 

 

 

 

 

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “TO ACT ON YOUR OWN-AYE THERE’S THE RUB

  1. Andy V

    My mate used to play in the house band at the holiday camp at Porthcawl and said that the drummer Romeo Challenger was always a fantastic bloke to have a pint with. Shite band though.

  2. Bedroom Tax Dodger

    Hey lay off the Waddy! Dueting Halbe Mensch and A Little bit of Soap at the Kilburn National with Einsturtze Neubauten … priceless

  3. Janet

    You sound like the cool kids huddled in the corner at the disco. We used to sing along to Daddy Cool quite happily at our xmas parties. My uncle loved impersonating the big ugly one who sang bass.

    Don’t get me wrong I loved the Clash and I suspect I saw them more than many of you. But is bad mouthing a stupid band from decades ago all you’ve got?

    • Anonymous

      That was Darts not Showaddywaddy Janet.. Darts were pretty good fun. Only saw the Clash once and that was enough as they were shite. The best two gigs I ever went to were Crass and Kid Creole and the Coconuts so make of that what you will

  4. Rob John

    The Autonomes reformed back in April for a one off gig in Swansea! I heard it was pretty awful.

  5. @Rob John, I was at the Autonomes reunion gig in April (with 999 and the Lurkers) – and it was fucking rammed. It was a brilliant night and certainly not awful by any stretch

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