CLASS WAR discussing our top twenty policies at present – here are mine after a sleepless night wondering if I should include DREDGE THE PARROT……..decided against.

Abolish the Monarchy – seizure of assets – royals exiled to St. Helena
Arrest of Head of ATOS for crimes against humanity. All ATOS staff complicit – no ‘only doing my job defence’
Arrest of tony Blair for war crimes – assets seized
90% income tax on salaries above £100,000
50% Mansion tax
Squatting decriminalised
Cannabis use decriminalised
Right to die – doctors can respect patients wishes
30 XTRA paid Holiday days like Robin Hood day, Sylvia Pankhurst day etc
Duke of Westminter lands seized without compensation followed by land owned by local gentry and big companies
Abolition of public schools
Guaranteed minimum income for all
Abolition of student fees
Massive affordable housing programme inc. seizure of oligarch properties and repopulation of city centres by proletarians and cap on rents
No more Dan Snow on the telly
No beer tax on small independently owned pubs
Amnesty on payday loan repayments
Wealth tax on 1,000 top companies, no more bankers bonuses.

Lets be having yours then – top twenty please.



Filed under Uncategorized


  1. Al the Rott

    alright I admit I’m a bit fick, can someone with a head for numbers explain how double dole and that will work with guaranteed minimum income? Seen as the minimum income should be AT LEAST double the dole rate anyways, I’ve probably misunderstood though

    • ianbone

      I feel some of the policies may need a little tweaking Al -I’ve asked the Institute for eco-gnomeic affairs to do a rigourous cost analysis of our spending and taxation plans.

    • Comet Von Vomt

      A land value tax, legalisation of all drugs and making use of crypto-currencies should take care of any budgeting shortfalls.

  2. Ashe

    Overthrow international capitalism
    Abolish the armaments trade
    Transform the army into disaster relief force
    Free booze for pensioners
    Free public transport
    Socialisation of work
    More sunshine
    Free prescriptions and healthcare -full socialisation of healthcare
    Replace Christmas with Louis Michel festival
    Exile entire Top Gear team and Steven Fry on Rockall

    More to follow …..

  3. Paul Jennings

    It made me smile.
    Need to take on landlords and letting agents as well IMO.

  4. fuckthetories

    Banish Hatie Krapkins, wages for housework, social housing to include solar panels and wood pellet burners, retirement age at 60, decriminalise all drugs, melt down Eric Pickles to provide all UK citizens with free toiletries.for a year

  5. A free two week caravan holiday for all families.
    Free 24 hour transport.
    Turn ¼ of all urban private land into adventure playgrounds with strict “children only” spaces.
    Turn ¼ of all urban private land into allotments.
    Turn ¼ of all urban land into public woodland
    Turn ¼ of all urban private land into Class War party members private duck hunting grounds.
    Free enrolment on DIY courses, to gyms, anything based around self improvement and personal happiness.
    Turn Canary Warf into housing.
    Turn the Shard into a massive rave. Every level has a different type of music.
    Turn HSBC tower and Barclays Tower into massive green houses to grow ….mint. Free mint tea for everyone!

  6. Roger Page

    All very well Ian but in a globalised world, the rich would just piss off and take millions of jobs with them

    • Special Guest Star

      And if the rich stay – more zero hour contracts, more workfare, more prison labour, more automation of jobs (humanoid robots coming soon) and more fire at will legislation.


      ‘the rich would just piss off and take millions of jobs with them’- Er, No. They would piss off seeking to find millions of other people to parasitically exploit. We can make our own jobs, ones that need doing, ones worth doing- other than shovelling corporate shite or pushing buttons on a keyboard all day.
      That these lazy be-suited turds are ‘job-providers’ and ‘wealth creators’ is a total fucking myth- See 2008 onwards.

  7. Special Guest Star

    The Daily Hate Mail, The Scum, The Torygraph etc shut down and ownership of the media placed under democratic control and properly regulated so it ceases to be a propaganda mouthpiece for the rich and can no longer incite hatred, scapegoat, dehumanise, demonise, mislead and lie with impunity.


    Abolish the Monarchy-Buckingham Palace turned into the ‘National Museum of Inequality’.
    Double the dole or introduce a minimum guarenteed income.
    Abolish the Housing benefit cap.
    Abolish the bedroom tax.
    Cap all private rents and register all landlords.
    Compulsory use of property speculators land for social housing use.
    Free heating for all state pensioners.
    Free travel for the unemployed.
    Abolish Atos interviews.
    Abolish Workfare.
    Abolish zero hours contracts- except those that are beneficial to employee.
    Maximum working week of 30 hours – or the 4 hour day – with no pay reduction and commute -time to be counted as part of working day.
    Reinstate the full right to strike.
    Free childcare for all working parents.
    Immediate implementation of equal pay for women.
    Abolish VAT on sanitary towels and tampax, better still- they should be completely free on the NHS.
    Full taxation of all avoidant corporations the money going exclusively into housebuilding.
    Prosecution of all bankers for market rigging, mis-selling, ppi and money laundering.
    Abolish Non-dom tax status.
    Abolish corporate lobbying of MPs.
    Nationalisation of all utilities, energy, transport and internet providers.
    Increase taxation of private healthcare companies and big pharma to fund NHS.
    End stop and search.
    Full public enquiry deaths in police custody. Abolish the IPCC.
    Establish an independent body for the investigation of Rape.
    Return of Free milk in schools.
    Severe penalties for employers undercutting payrates through use of cheap immigrant labour- equalisation.

    • Bob Black

      Abolish work!!!!

    • b

      Agreed with the nationalisations. Also nationalise banks and insurance companies. And under transport, include seaports and airports, most of which are in private hands.

      Seize all profits made from lending money at more than 3% per annum interest, going back 10 years. See if we can get some churchmen and Muslims on our side, maybe! 🙂

      Anybody who’s worrying about nationalisations, please don’t. This is a fucking good policy. We don’t sound anything like Trotskyists. Nobody gives a shit about Trotskyists anyway. The trick is to avoid sounding like dyed-in-the-wool backwards-looking anarchists. We’re going places. Get to the throbbing nerve. Ride it. Say what most of the population will agree with – and what’s a fucking abomination for our enemies.

      Nationalise the banks, stick it to the rich, tax the fuckers until the fucking pips squeak, hugely increase welfare provision – our enemies are totally corrupt and we’ve had enough, stop all this lying money-grabbing bullshit which holds us all to ransom, fuck all these politicians who cover for the super-rich who hide their money and worship at the shrine of inherited multi-million pound fortunes…force our enemies to come out in their true colours…oh dear, what are the cunts afraid of? Is someone taking ‘democracy’ at its word? Don’t they like that?

      These are far better lines than that stupid old crap about buying cigarettes and alcohol on the black market!

      • Keith

        I would prefer popular (workers/communities) seizure of banks & assets. The state is the creature of the robber barons & parasites, many of whom would adapt to running nationalised assets as in the Soviet Union.

  9. Anonymous

    Squatting decriminalised
    Cannabis use decriminalised
    Minimum income
    No student fees

    Already been achieved….

    • b

      Sorry anonymous, but you’ve been had. There’s not really a minimum income, and what makes you think students don’t have to pay fees?

  10. Zek

    More education, single cells and living wage for prisoners. More chance for prisoners to spend time with their families.
    Abolition of vivisection, criminalisation of factory farming.
    5 year custodial minimum for those guilty of fox hunting.
    Seizue of all lethal weapons held by police.
    Some sort of regulation of the press.
    Closure of immigrant detention centres.

  11. Zek

    Oh yeah, sort of the letting agents out as well – total scum.

  12. Take into common ownership and democratic control the means of wealth production, end the wages system and introduce free access to all without discrimination. Dismantle the capitalist state and see where we go from there . Book the Old Grey Whistle Band for the 0’2 arena which will probably be called something else by then 🙂

  13. Geoff

    As Zek said – end animal experimentation and factory farming. Also police funds and equipment to be handed over to the hunt sabs, to ensure proper enforcement of the hunting ban.

  14. Aidan

    Schools to provide free breakfasts, as well as lunch, for all children.
    The disestablishnent of the Church of England.
    Abolish the aristocracy. Make the use of their feudal “titles” a criminal offence.
    Oh, and most of what Incubus and Zek have said.

  15. Johny

    Deregulation of Ian Duncan Smith’s compassionate heart.
    Modernisation of George Osborne’s intestines.
    Reform of Ed Miliband’s kidneys.
    etc etc

  16. cathoarder

    I’d just like to add the following suggestions:
    Abolish copyright.
    Repeal RIP act (encrypted stuff is PRIVATE!)
    Commence geothermal power plant construction programme.
    Free cake for everyone.

  17. Ronald Lowe RN

    Dear Class Warriors

    Put all military personnel under the direct control of Greenpeace.
    Turn banks into People’s Palaces, open all-hours.
    Close off the City of London behind barbed wire for twenty-five years; allow nature to take its course.
    Send every Old Etonian for job retraining, benefits dependent on attendance, including Charlie Kimber.
    Set up a national convention to decide what work is necessary and what work is not; to agree an average working week; and makes arrangements for the local organisation of necessary labour.
    Establish a second convention to discuss new arrangements for new democratic forms of political life.
    Invite activists from around the world to contribute to the conventions, don’t let anarcho-purists accuse us of lowering our sights.
    Offer the Queen an amnesty on condition that she moves with a camera crew into a modest retirement flat on James Turner Street,
    Make a living exhibit of Charles Windsor.
    Hand over Prince Harry to the Taliban, our first and last compromise with the forces of religious obscurantism.
    Put the cast of Made in Chelsea on trial for crimes against common decency.
    Execute every tenth Director to ‘décourager les autres’, then every eleventh, then every second or third, as you decide
    Reclaim Jerusalem as a song of vision and radical longing.
    Remember the fate of Lev Chernyi and Fanya Baron before we decide whether we limit freedom of speech.

    Yours cheerfully R.L RN

  18. vic

    shoot the royals with a small calibre bullet so as not to make a mess, mount them in glass cases to make them look their best , put them on display for all the world to see , charge a pound for admission , but let the children watch for free .

    • Aidan

      Amost perfect rhyming couplets there – first line doesn’t quite scan, maybe change it to “shoot them with a little bullet…” and carry on with the rest of the line. Don’t underestimate the power of poetry. We’ll have kids chanting this in playgrounds. Oh, and for any pedants mess and best are pararhymes.

      • Sue.Seaside

        I’ve slightly changed vic’s excellent lines. Anyone got some other verses?

        Shoot them with a little gun
        So there will be no bloody mess
        We’ll put them in a great glass case
        Where they will look their best

        In the shiny royal museum
        For all the world to see
        A quid for your admission
        And under twelves for free

  19. vic

    oh 20 hr working week , 400 pnd wkly minimum wage , retirement at 50 , and national service in the peoples militia to protect the revolution , no other military or paramilitary force should be needed , and all existing ones should be disbanded and disarmed , simples

  20. Anonymous

    something I’d suggest minimum wage = living wage and universal income no more job centers oh and bankers can have a bonus that is has a 90% tax rate as that way we can pay for shit we need to

  21. count me out

    British anarchism at work. Let’s see what we have.

    Newspapers that don’t agree with you BANNED.

    Anyone earning £100,000 forced to live on less than current minimum wage after their 90% tax. Creating a new underclass surely? All they would have to do is quit their job and become idle to double their money. The country would fall apart pretty quickly with all these idle people getting paid decent money. Nobody would work.

    A ‘peoples militia’ to ‘protect’ the revolution. We all know what that means to anyone who dares to disagree.

    Cold bloodedly kill members of the royal family and force your kids to look at their corpses that are publicly displayed. No mention that other families won’t also be targetted just for the fun of it, but I’m guessing this will be left to the discretion of the ‘peoples militia’.

    Execution of Directors, for the crime of taking advantage of a system which was in place before they were born and for them not being lefties? I wonder what other grudges will be rectified in this manner.

    There’s a lot of killing going on here. And a lot of tit for tat. Like confiscating police equipment and giving it to ‘hunt sabs’ to enforce hunting laws. Just a different set of thugs with all the uniforms and tasers.

    All this proves is that anarchism has no realistic solutions at all.
    Sort of makes me glad that this country will never have a revolution. It would be a nightmare for the majority, who are ordinary people and will be more bothered about how to feed their kids than attending month long ‘raves’ in the Shard.

    • Aidan

      You’re either trolling or a bit dense. This is a talking shop with people throwing ideas into the air and there are a lot of left wing in jokes going on.

    • Al the Rott

      *quietly puts this citizen’s name on a list for later*

    • Special Guest Star

      “British anarchism at work. Let’s see what we have.
      Newspapers that don’t agree with you BANNED.”

      They are not newspapers. They are the propaganda mouthpieces of the oligarchy owned by right-wing billionaires and used to further their extremist right-wing agenda.

      They lie, they exaggerate, they incite hatred, they omit inconvenient facts, they present information out of context, they present exceptions as the norm and they scapegoat, demonise and dehumanise the most vulnerable and disadvantaged people in society on a daily basis to brainwash the British people into accepting and supporting their exploitation.

      The only thing free about our billionaire owned “free press” is its freedom to lie with impunity.

  22. Captain Sensible

    All bosses/managers and landlords abolished. Parliament, eton, along with all public schools, cambridge and oxford universities, and all the “royal” palaces and stateley homes, demolished and pounded into dust.


    OK- so the Franz Lipp faction is coming over very strongly here, vying with the Juan García Oliver bloc…British anarchism at its ‘best’ ; just like that old yiddish joke-

    ‘Three buddies, Dovid, Shlomo and Yaakov die in a car crash, G-d forbid. But they were good Jews so they go to Heaven and are ushered into Heaven’s orientation.

    They are each asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?”

    Dovid says, “I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man.”

    Shlomo says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.”

    Yaakov replies, “I would like to hear them say… LOOK, LOOK! HE’S MOVING!!!” ‘

    Is it just me or are some comrades missing the whole fucking electoral point? People can have a laugh and demand a Unicorn for every child etc, but the fact is, kids are literally eating cold chips for their packed lunches at school. The cunts in charge will mock us for our ‘utopianism’ as it is, while they are really living the capitalist ‘land of milk and honey’ paid for by Us. Wake the fuck up.

  24. Aidan

    Not sure I see the relevance of the joke but agree that we need to get back down to earth.This is about putting together a basic electoral manifesto which most people will agree with. I know that I’ve got carried away along with others here. Anyway, on Incubus’s point about kids eating cold chips for lunch in an earlier post I suggested free breakfasts and lunches for all schoolkids. I’m sure this is affordable. A bowl of porridge or cereal and a glass of milk in the morning is not going to break the bank. Nor is a couple of slices of toast. One egg per child – 10p? Bananas are cheap for a midmorning snack. I won’t get onto lunchtime menus unless someone wants me to. Point is I think this is a realistic proposal.

  25. Pingback: My Top 20 Possible Class War Policies | Trade Onion by Jon Bigger

  26. Colin W.

    Surely the point of standing is to show up the farce of represent democracy and the state and insread use it as an opportnity to build alternatives (in the shell out the old) … It should not be about pretending that elected ‘nicer’ representatives with ‘better’ policies can solve our problems. No nationalisation, no to censorship… for workers’ and non-workers’ control

  27. TomC

    disband the police

  28. Tom

    getting rid of work hours – how does food production fit in to this? I could be wrong, but sounds like a lot of urban dwellers writing some of this, lots of jobs can’t really be done in 4 hour stints! How about – getting rid of an industrialised and international food chain and having people grow their own food. Plenty of urban land can be used for this and it sounds like there will be less need for everyone to be living in cities, so more people can move out to the countryside and take advantage of the land. Only problem with this is that it takes up a lot of time, which people don’t sound too keen on…

    • Examples of jobs that are only needed by the capitalists and their system. All a complete waste of human energy:

      stock exchanges
      superannuation schemes
      tax consultants
      ticket sellers, collectors and inspectors
      trade unions treasurers
      unemployment benefit offices
      unit trusts
      wages clerks
      work study engineers
      national health insurance
      patents offices and copyright
      pension funds
      post offices
      public relations officers
      rate-fixers for piecework
      rates offices receivers
      rent collectors
      salesmen and saleswomen
      security firms
      social security offices
      stock brokers and jobbers
      holding companies
      income tax officers
      inspectors of weights and measures
      insurance brokers
      insurance companies
      investment consultants
      licensing officers
      loan companies
      luncheon voucher schemes
      management consultants
      market analysts
      money lenders
      mortgage brokers
      estate agents
      excise officers
      financial advisers
      finance houses
      friendly societies
      grant awarding trusts
      health finance schemes
      hire purchase firms

      building societies
      christmas clubs
      consumer protection
      credit card agencies
      credit worthiness investigators
      debt collectors

      advertising agencies


      • gtr

        Agree with most of those, but post offices? Some kind of infrastructure for sending letters and parcels is useful.

  29. badger

    Abolish immigration controls… with the exception perhaps of basic border checks to stop the rich smuggling gold or other valuables out, and to stop reactionaries smuggling weapons or bombs in.

    Would need to share around the job of carrying out these checks so no-one gets on a petty-bureaucrat power-trip, and to prevent a culture of corruption/bribes developing.

  30. Gideon Osborn

    Disagree about the Post Office. Auditors may also still have a (redefined) role. But I wonder whether anyone has ever calculated the potential effect on necessary work-time of getting rid of the non-jobs?

    But hey dream on. As Groucho said: ‘In communist society, where nobody has one exclusive sphere of activity but each can become accomplished in any branch he wishes, society regulates the general production and thus makes it possible for me to do one thing today and another tomorrow, to be mechanic in the morning, bake cakes in the afternoon, make banners in the evening, get pissed after dinner, just as I have a mind, without ever becoming mechanic, baker, banner maker, or alcoholic.’

    Meanwhile, a serious debate has emerged. Is the purpose of this discussion to identify a seriously intended programme of reform (albeit – dare I say – transitional in nature) or to exercise our imagination whilst playfully puncturing the democratic pretense of capitalist electoral politics? Room for both, I’d say.


      Oh dear, looks like someone hasn’t read their silly old Kropotkin on Post Offices as models of decentralised organisation…


      I’d say the purpose of this debate is to settle on a seriously intended programme that will A) garnish as many votes and media attention as possible, and B) piss off the political class and upset their cart of rotten apples. We can exercise our imaginations to inspire others to exercise theirs- isn’t it all about possibility? Cos we all know that capitalist democracy is a deadly farce beyond measure- so let’s take pleasure in formulating the most radical far left platform imaginable, just short of anarchist-communism or whatever you want to call it.

      • Aidan

        Has anyone mentioned decriminalisation of sex work yet?
        Full compensation for all those blacklisted by the construction industry to be paid by those companies which subscribed to the blacklist.

  31. b

    Well I’ve only got 3 for the moment, but they’re all on one theme.

    * 1) abolish inherited wealth in excess of £1million

    I.e. slap a 100% inheritance tax on the value of any estate in excess of £1million.
    Force an enemy response.
    What can they say? Oh how hard they work? Oh what jobs they provide? Oh how much they do to help their children?

    * 2) compulsory disclosure of all beneficial interests totalling more than £1million, held anywhere in the world

    What are they going to say? It’s good that the rich hide money, because otherwise they’d move to Liberia and we’d all be unemployed?

    * 3) 90% income tax on INCOME (not just salaries) above £100,000

    Must get this one right. Most rich bastards get most of their income through other channels than their salaries.

    I loved that letter sent to estate agents about the mansion tax. Let the bastards know that we know they’re scum, and that we know they know they’re scum. Because they do know. That’s why they prefer to act in the shadows. Force a response. Force them to help with our propaganda.

  32. b

    A fourth one:

    * allow unrestricted building of single homes, without the need for planning permission or building control approval, by any owner occupier on any piece of land up to an acre

    That will CRASH land prices and mean BYE-BYE BANKS.

  33. b


    I would prefer popular (workers/communities) seizure of banks & assets. The state is the creature of the robber barons & parasites, many of whom would adapt to running nationalised assets as in the Soviet Union.

    I think you’re mixing things up. Electoral manifestos can’t be revolutionary.

    They can, occasionally, play a part in a movement which asserts working class interests and fights for an improvement, or against a deterioration, in living standards. I’ve always been in favour of ‘bread and butter’ struggles, even when I was a tub-thumping ultra-leftist. Do that right and it’s possible we could spark off an explosion…or at least change the landscape…

    There should be some nationalisation points in the CW manifesto.

    Nobody’s saying that that’s socialism, or that if it became the new institutionalised form of capitalism, long-term, it wouldn’t be just as capitalist as what we’ve got now. The point is momentum, and who does what to whom. The NHS is shit too. So is the welfare state. But only a complete nutcase or right-wing arsehole would want to get rid of these now.

    Your suggestion of workers or communities taking over banks, though, is just as reformist. The only revolutionary position on money is to abolish it.

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